Do You Expect Good Survey

                    April 2011                  Eva Selhub, MD               

What Does This Mean for You? Trust, or the ability to expect good from your own internal resources or from external resources confers a happier and healthier life.  According to this data, the respondents are doing a pretty good job.      What you want to do is continue to nurture yourself and your relationships, because in these times of great uncertainty, many find it difficult to trust politicians, or organizations.  You can, however, rely on loved ones and on yourself, especially on your inner resources that help you feel balanced, aligned and loved.   Looking forward to your comments and thoughts.   Happy holidays to all and warm wishes,   Eva You can continue developing these resources at my next seminar, the final one of the series sponsored by the National Institute for Whole Health at Newton Wellesely Hospital, Saturday April 23, from 10-12 in the Riddle Auditorium. National Institute of Whole Health

First, thank you for participating in the Trust survey.  I found the results to be very interesting and hopefully you enjoyed filling out the questionnaire enough to want to do it again sometime!            Results:  74% trust most of the people living in their community 68% trust their romantic partner to keep his/her promises and commitments.    70% trust they can be vulnerable in their intimate and personal relationships.    81% trust that they can speak openly and honestly in their personal relationships. 65% trust in the care received from their doctor. 48% trust that their boss/business associates are concerned about their best interests.    61% trust that their boss/business associates listen and value what they say. 75% trust they would have access to resources to help them in times of adversity.   6% trust that elected government officials have their best interests in mind. Conclusions: There is a strong sense of trust of personal relationships whether with a romantic partner, personal relationships outside of work, or within the community.      People are more trusting of their own actions (ability to be vulnerable and speak openly  and honestly), than they are of the actions of others (such as trusting a romantic partner or business associate).      Patient/doctor relationships tend to be more closely associated with community and personal relationships while there is a striking difference in the level of trust placed with elected government officials.      There is a small disparity between a boss or business associate perceived listening and valuing what one says, and how that translates into ones perceived trust that a boss or business associate is concerned about one's best interests.      In times of adversity, a large percentage of respondents believe they would have access to resources to help them, however with such a low percentage trusting elected government officials, one could infer that the resources to help in the time of adversity might be more likely to come from the private sector or from trusted personal relationships. The Survey Design: 100 survey participants from the email list of Dr. Eva Selhub.    65% of respondents were between the ages of 35 and 60.    Responses could be skewed or biased and are not to be considered representative of the at large population given the pool of possible respondents.   Thank you to Edward Bizell of for helping me analyze the data!

Where do you stand?

I am curious. Do you expect good or bad and in which situations? Do you trust that you can expect good, or do you simply expect bad?     I invite my readers to answer a brief, anonymous questionnaire by following this link:   Do You Expect Good? I will then share with you what I find after tabulating the data.

For questions and/or for appointments, please see  Dr. Eva's contact information at the end of this message.     Trust and the quality of expecting good, especially when combined with being realistic and pragmatic, breeds a healthier mind and body.  Pessimism and distrust, in contrast, affect the mind and body negatively, especially over time. Answering the brief questionnaire linked to this message may give you insight into your level of trust.  I will summarize the responses for you in the next newsletter.  In the meantime, I will be offering a lecture, as part of my workshop series at Newton Wellesley Hospital that will address working through fear to find trust. I hope you can join me: Working Through Fear to Trust I also invite you to listen to the Dr. Eva Dr. Eva Show now available on Iamhealthyradio.com.  It was an absolute blast to co-host the show with Dr. Eva Ritvo as we explored and answered questions about relationships--staying in one or getting in one--and ultimately, that trust and love are the foundations for any relationship, including the one you have with yourself. I look forward to hearing from you! Warm wishes, Eva

Have you ever noticed that one minute you could be seeing the value of
someone or something and the next, you find yourself being judgmental,
critical or irritated by that same person or thing?

What is it about those moments  that caused you to see with such a
different perspective?

Usually, perspective or perception changes according to the lens from
which you are looking.  If you are in a place of fear or stress,
invariably, your lens will be much smaller and your lower brain centers
will be more active than your higher brain centers (where you do cognitive
processing and intellectual reasoning). 

If you feel balanced, more in love, more lucky, chances are your lens will be much
wider, more able to see the big picture, as your higher brain centers are functioning.

The truth is that you usually have a choice as to which lens you want to be
looking through--big or small.

Which lens do you choose?

Know that if you are functioning from a place of fear or stress, it is
likely that you are feeling undervalued, criticized or judged yourself.
If you feel this way, you are more likely to project this negativity
on someone or something else.

The key is to see the value in you. 

Look into your own heart and focus on your positive qualities and how lucky you are.
Count the varied ways you feel blessed. When you do so, you may notice that
your heart and mind begin to open up. Then, try to see the value in the situation
or person--what are the positive qualities? In what way does the situation hold value for you?

Remember, that everyone and everything has value.  What that value is,
is up to you to discover.  Your job is to first uncover your own value.
The rest will follow!

People you should know:
Circle + Bloom, a new company that creates mind-body programs for
women's health, has made it simple.  They have crafted enjoyable yet
very high-quality meditations and visualizations that focus on specific
health conditions within the body, that give you specific tools to
apply to a specific condition.  They have a whole body of work designed
specifically for fertility - one area that I do believe is effected
quite dramatically by the Fear Response.

They also have a programs for pregnancy, improving your energy, getting
better sleep, and improving your sexual health. So, take a look and while
you are at it, download their free mind-body seminar.
Click here to learn more: Circle and Bloom

Important News:
VOICE FOR HOPE
I have recently joined a wonderful non-profit organization called Voice
For Hope.  Their aim is to advance the well-being of humanity:

• To insure that producers, practitioners, and consumers of complementary, alternative and integrative health and wellness services and products have meaningful participation in the development of public policy,
• To educate policy makers and the general public
• To promote the rights of individual consumers and their families to information, access, redress and choice.

I encourage you to join and help all our voices be heard, so that all people have access to all forms of medicine at times of need.
Visit: Voice for Hope

That's all for now.  I will be lecturing near you for sure this year, so keep an eye out on the schedule!

Warm wishes to all,
Eva

As 2010 comes to a close, many of you may be reflecting on the past year--the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. Life will always have ups and downs. It will always be filled with grief and joy, fear and love.  You have a choice to be stuck in one or the other.  Which do you choose? One of the problems of being stuck in fear or grief, is that it becomes a very lonely existence.  In these negative states, the heart shuts down and off, leaving you disconnected from self, others and from your piece of the universe. One of the best parts of being stuck in love, is that you feel anything but lonely.  You experience connectedness in all levels because the heart is open.  When more than one heart is open, the heart energies merge and it can feel as if the hearts are beating as one heart. This may sound hokey, but just think about it for a moment. Think about a time when you were in love. Or perhaps you felt completely adored by someone or even the world--like when you are feeling really lucky.  Remember how connected you felt? Remember how close you felt to the other person or to the world? Now if you close your eyes and put yourself back into that situation, pay attention to your heart.  Notice how open it feels.  And imagine that the heart of the other person, the world or universe, is open too. Imagine that your heart energies are merging and beating as one. Repeat these words:  Our hearts are one heart. Now notice how you feel. As you bring in 2011, perhaps you can spend a moment imagining your heart energy is merging with that of the rest of the world and repeat the words:  Our hearts are one heart.  Imagine if we all did this together on the stroke of midnight December 31!!

Happy holidays and happy new year to all!

Warm wishes,

Eva

Were you the type of child that tried to draw perfectly inside the lines?  How about now? If you were given a coloring book and some markers, would you draw inside the lines?

What if you took a risk and purposefully didn't care about coloring perfectly inside the lines?  Try simply letting your hand color freely and see what happens.

Then think about your own life--how often do you aim for perfect
because someone drew the lines for you and labeled "perfection" for you?

Today, dare to be different, or at least do something out of the
ordinary.
Walk sideways.
Brush your eyebrows.
Say "goodbye" instead of "hello."
Shake your head side to side and say "yes", or nod your head up and down while saying "no."
Wear your shirt backwards.
Wiggle.
How do you feel?

You may find that you are not taking yourself so seriously.
You may find yourself giggling while your wiggling.
You may find yourself being more creative at work.
You may discover the answer you have been seeking.
You may make other people smile.

Know that you are perfect just as you are. 
Nothing  you do, or wear, or say, will make you more perfect.  So live a little and draw outside the lines~`~

All the best,
Eva

Have you ever noticed how children get excited and mesmerized by the smallest things?  The word "Wow" is permanent in their
vocabulary.  As adults, we tend to lose this sense of awe and curiosity.  Over time, we tend to learn who and what not to trust, and we stick to who and what we know.

Truth is, if you think about it, the things that were cool when we were younger are still pretty cool now.  If you were to wake up every day as if it were your first, then almost everyone and most things that happen that day would be interesting, awesome or curious.

Perhaps you can try waking up tomorrow and saying "yes" to having a new adventure.  You can practice saying "wow" to even the most mundane things--like the smell of your coffee brewing, or how your fingers manage to fit into your gloves and who thought of this concept anyway?

The nice part about this "wow effect" is that it stimulates your higher brain centers, which keeps your stress response at bay, keeping your mind and body healthier.

Give it a try and see how you feel.

Warm Wishes,
Eva

Seek the beauty and value that can be found in all people and things.
When you find this beauty, you find your own beauty.

Dear All,

I wrote this little sentence in response to someone's question on how
to find love.  Though I wrote the words from my heart, I didn't realize
how much I needed to practice what I was preaching until I started
studying for my Internal Medicine Board re-certification examination.
The truth is, I really didn't want to study. 

A few weekends into my intense studying routine,  I appreciated anew the
value of western beliefs and medicine.  I also recognized yet again that the value of allopathic medicine rises exponentially when combined with eastern beliefs.  One is not separate or better than the other. They both have unique value, and together, value skyrockets.

As the two worlds merged fully in my mind, I felt something also merge
within me.  I somehow felt whole.

Everything has value. Even when it appears that something or someone
is mean, small or inconsequential.  Everything has beauty. Indeed, seeing beauty and value will only help you tap into your own.

Warm wishes,
Eva

Dear All,

Summer is coming to a close. As children head back to school, many of
us are trying to enjoy the last few days on the beach before the fall
brings its colder weather.

Change.  Some of you like it.  Some of you fear it.

Well, whether you like it or not, change will happen. You cannot stop it even if you try. So you might as well embrace it.

You might as well perceive change as an exciting opportunity for
learning something new; trying something different; or engaging in
something spectacular (even if it seems mundane!).

You may find that simply saying "okay" to change makes moving forward a
bit less scary and you are better able to enjoy the ride of life.

If you are feeling stressed about the future, unsure of where change
will take you, try this:
1. Notice how you feel and validate that you have every right to feel
scared or nervous about the unknown.
2. Redirect your focus and contemplate something or someone you adore,
something or someone hysterically funny or awesome.
3. Notice how you feel and enjoy the feeling.
4. Then say to yourself "Okay.  I can handle anything.  I am enough. I
have enough.  I have all that I need. Come what may, I have all that I
need."  You can repeat this phrase several times.

Enjoy the last days of summer!

Warm wishes,
Eva

They say a smile is contagious, but have you ever stopped to notice how many people smile and how many people don't? 
It never ceases to amaze me how few people smile, especially people walking down the street.  What amazes me more, though, is that when I flash a big, warm smile at someone I pass on the street their eyes light up and they eagerly smile back.  And I tell you, this makes me smile even more.
Just like that.
In a split second.
Two people smile.
And for a second, perhaps longer,
The world seems like a better place.
 
So I encourage you to smile, even if you do not feel like it.  Smile
because life can often be difficult and a little smile goes a long way.
Smile when you look in the mirror as you admire yourself.
Smile when you catch someone's eye as you walk down the street.
Smile at the person who lets you by or opens the door for you.
Smile when you let someone else pass by or as you open the door for them.
Smile when you have to do something you don't like to do.
Smile when you do what you love.
Smile, simply because you can.
 
Remember, a little smile goes a long way.

All the best,
Eva

"Let It Go!"

Are you carrying around old resentments, hurts, disappointments, or
fears?

I think we all do this to a certain extent.

You may have noticed that you are often not aware that you
have been harboring old hurts or resentments until an event happens
that triggers the old negative feelings. You might also feel a deep heaviness or constriction in your heart or chest.

Isn't it time to let go of the old and negative, and make room for the
new and positive?

Here's a tip on how to "Let it Go":
1. Pay attention to how your heart feels as you set the intention to
release all lingering hurts, resentments, disappointments or fears.
2. Place both hands on your heart.
3. State: " I release you from my body" as you imagine that you are
pulling out the negativity with your hands.
4. As you remove your hands, you remove the negativity and as you open your arms out wide and let it go, state: "Release!"
5. Scoop up all the wonder and love from the universe and
everything you wish for yourself, and place this in your heart instead.

You can repeat this as often as you wish.

Hoping to see you at the Larches Inn this weekend!

Warmly,
Eva